Are we really alone?

” Definition of alone: 1   separated from others…” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/alone

I’m just asking in the simplest sense of the word, not the X-files TV show sense that wonders if there’s a top-secret conspiracy about aliens… just to clarify.

Technically, the truth is that, as sad, lonely and sorry we’d like to feel about ourselves, chances are we’re not really alone, of course, unless you’re living in a cave or some sort of desert fortress away from everybody (in which case I have no idea how you managed to read these words).  We’re all living in communities, big or small, it doesn’t matter, you’re probably surrounded by people just a few meters of distance. However, all the people I know have been terrified of loneliness at some point or another, many of them have made a stupid decision in an attempt to fix it, also known as marriage.

Don’t get me wrong, I think marriage could be a good thing ,theoretically, but getting married just because you don’t want to feel lonely, that’s stupid, and this is why:  like I just said, physically we’re not alone, people are all around us, at work, at home, when shopping (as a loner is actually, quite exhausting) physically we can’t consider ourselves alone when just a few meters separate us, but, the feeling of loneliness is another subject, you feel alone because you can’t connect with other people, at least not about the things that matter to you, or the way you’d like to, perhaps you’ve tried to bond about them with friends, family, or coworkers, but when you fail, and fail again, that’s when you start to feel lonely, and the thing is if you don’t fix that feeling by just a simple relationship with somebody, it won’t go away just because you’ve managed to cage yourself with somebody else, in fact, making the attempt to connect and fail repeatedly will probably will make you feel worse than in the beginning.

So, what to do?, Sorry mate, no magical answer here, we all have to find the answer by ourselves, but from my personal experience if you are feeling lonely the first thing is to realize that the problem is not physically but mentally instead, or perhaps even spiritually. It won’t be solved because you force yourself to be with other people you can’t stand, focus on yourself first, find out what is that subject, theme, idea, you want to share, then find people that are more likely to share those things with you, and the most important, it doesn’t matter if you don’t succeed, is not the end of the world, you can try again tomorrow, feeling alone is just that, a feeling, focus on something else, nobody understands how important is your career for you? So what, that doesn’t mean your family don’t care about you; You just can’t find somebody to share you passion with? Who cares, chances are there’s a friend that would accept having a beer with you and listen to you complain about it, just because you can’t connect at somethings, it doesn’t mean you don’t have many other connections around, and many times they are truly more important.

 

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